drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
