North Korea, Best Korea!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
