uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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