a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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