But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
