In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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