Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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