I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
