just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
