that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
where am i from again
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
