found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
