so explain again why im purple
no
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
