You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize