is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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