Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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