Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
are you so shy because you have an std?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
