I smell stomach acid.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
