During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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