I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
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I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
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She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I didn't notice because vodka
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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