Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize