I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
