I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
