i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
