I think I just saw someone hide a body.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
