Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
