i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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