He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Randomize
