I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
ok first of all what the fuck
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
