Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
