we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
