ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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