how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
