Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize