I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
