you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
