i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
