Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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