Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I can text with my tongue
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
