The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
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My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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