So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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