Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
