If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just high enough for therapy.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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