I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
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