Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
