her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
