I'm gonna have a badass scar
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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