okay pat passed out under dana's car
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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