U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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