Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
