wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
