i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
