Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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