I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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