What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
What a dumb baby whore.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
