My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize