After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
