your thong is hanging out like whoa
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I've blown a few things in my day
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
