I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
