Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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