Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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