Michael Bay diarrhea
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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