so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
