Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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