Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
