He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
